Practical Christianity: Missional Conduct

Like tongue and temper, temptation needs to be consistently and constantly monitored in the fellowship of believers. Alone, we cannot do it but together, we can.

Ephesians 4:25-32 - 25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

 Last time, we looked at the problem of backsliding, a common behavior among Christians in which they move away from Christ, drop out of church, and return to their old habits. It was a problem prevalent enough in the first-century church that Paul had to address backsliders in his letter to the Ephesians to remind them of the new life in Christ.

The problem was that Christians were not conducting their lives in a manner worthy of their calling to salvation and sanctification. They needed to know that they could no longer live like the unsaved, unredeemed, unbelieving world. Rather, they were to “put off” the old self and “put on” the new self by renewing their minds daily by the power of the Spirit.

Ephesians 4:24-32 describes the conduct necessary for missional calling, community, and change according to the model, mission, and teaching of Christ in the new life.

The big idea is that we must conduct our lives in a manner worthy of our calling according to the model of Christ, the mission of Christ, and the teachings of Christ by living our new life in Christ authentically and effectively with integrity and honesty. It involves our speech, behavior, and attitude.

As we come to the end of Ephesians, to ensure that our conduct matches our calling, Paul lists six characteristics which can be summed up in three practical steps we can take— control our tongue, temper, and temptations.

Control Our Tongue (Ephesians 4:25)

Ephesians 4:25 reads, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” The verse starts with “therefore,” and the principle is when you see “therefore,” you ask, what “therefore” is there for.

In the larger context, “therefore” refers to the doctrinal truths in Ephesians 1-3 that talks about our justification, redemption, salvation, the security of salvation, and the process of sanctification which ends in glorification.

In the immediate context, it refers to applying the truths in Ephesians 4 that bring change in our lives because if there is no evidence of change in speech, behaviors, and attitudes, the question is whether the power of the gospel changed the heart in the first place.

The distinction that Paul makes in this letter is that we are not saved by changing our behavior and attitude; rather our speech, behavior, and attitudes change because we are saved and radically changed by the gospel.

The first characteristic that reflects a changed heart is how we use our tongues. Notice the phrase, “having put away falsehood.” The Greek word for “falsehood” is pseudos which means a lie or deceitful precepts that refer to false religion or perversion of religious truth.

If we don’t end it with our old life, in the new life, we will be controlled by it. We will lie to ourselves that “I am doing better than others” or “I am doing worse than others.” We will deceive our hearts into believing whatever we want to believe to justify our sinful behavior and attitude.

James 1:26 says, “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.” God’s Word expects Christians to put away the lying uncontrol tongue with our old sinful unsaved selves and do what the rest of Ephesians 4:25 says, “let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”

Speaking the truth doesn’t permit us to say hurtful things to tear people down. The whole point of Ephesians 4 is to build up the church. We must speak truth in love. The idea of membership here is not the idea of membership in a club or store; it is being a member of the body of Christ. A metaphor Paul used in Ephesians 4:12 to highlight the oneness in Christ and communal mutual responsibility to build up the Church in the unity of Christ.

When we lie to each other as a body, we put the Christian community, unity, and witness at risk. Imagine if different parts of our body begin to lie to each other. Say you are driving, and your brain lies to your eyes and your feet lie to your hands so rather than stopping at the red light, you speed up. It will harm you and those around you.

Application

We must control our tongues and speak the truth even if it costs us something. That is because our world system is based on falsehood. It expects us to lie and cheat to get ahead of others.

I was talking to a believer who was so proud of herself that she did not lie; yet she confessed that she just did not tell the truth. Hiding the truth is a lie. Another believer humorously said a white lie doesn’t hurt. Yes, it does. It does not matter what spin we put on the truth; God knows it is a lie and that is what really matters.

God is so serious about a lying tongue that in Revelation 22:15, He says, “Outside are the dogs and sorcerers and the sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.” In Greek, “falsehood” is the same word, pseudos, in Ephesians 4:25 for “lie.” So, in the last book of the Bible, God says liars cannot enter New Jerusalem, the Kingdom of God, the eternal life. This is how serious lying is.

Control Our Temper (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Paul uses two different words in Greek for anger in verse 26.

The first word, orgizo, means to arouse to anger. This gives us the sense that when it starts, our anger is not wrathful or sinful. It can be managed and can be capped at a level so that it does not become sinful.

The other word Paul uses is parorgismos which means rage and wrath. This is when things do get out of hand. The expectation in verse 26 is, don’t sin when you are angry and if things do get out of hand and reach the level of rage and wrath, immediately work toward reconciliation to bring your anger under control.

The idea of “do not let the sun go down on your anger” is not permission to harbor anger toward believers including your spouse, friends, parents, or children until sunset; rather it is the idea to seek reconciliation as soon as possible. Yes, using the sunset as a literal boundary to seek reconciliation is fine because that may give both parties enough time to cool down but there is this sense of urgency to act before the sun sets on your relationship. Act before the relationship is ruined so as in Ephesians 4:27, “and give no opportunity to the devil.”

Last week, I was checking on a newlywed couple. The husband said that they are learning that 97% of all their issues can be resolved with effective communication. In premarital counseling, Sarah and I spend more time with the couples discussing effective communication than any other topic, including conflict resolution because when we fail to control our tongue, we give room to our anger and that destroys marriages, families, and communities. That is what the Devil wants. If you are married, develop a habit of praying together before you go to sleep; it would be nearly impossible to be angry with each other.

Application

Work hard on controlling our temper as not to give the devil an opportunity to destroy relationships. Anger is an emotion and emotions can be controlled. But when we don’t control them, they control us. God does not dismiss emotions but warns us about the danger of it. Yes, you are allowed to be angry, but you are not allowed to let anger rule over you.

Control Our Temptations (Ephesians 4:28)

Temptation is a complex issue that includes both internal desires and external stimuli leading to the act. From eating to spending to comprising moral values and crossing ethical boundaries, these all start with harmless temptation until we fall into it.

So, like tongue and temper, temptation needs to be consistently and constantly monitored in the fellowship of believers. Alone, we cannot do it but together, we can. Ephesians 4:28-32 call believers to control temptations.

First is the materialistic temptation that ends in stealing. In verse 28 we read, “Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.” Don’t be surprised that there were thieves in the church. If you think about it, the church is made up of former sinners and ex-cons.

It does not matter who you were before Christ; what matters is who you are today in Christ. This is why the word for “no longer” in Greek, mēketi, has the sense of discontinuing the previous action and henceforward never doing it again. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, “9 …Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

Application

If you want to inherit the kingdom of God, do not fall into the temptation of old behaviors. Don’t seek materialistic things; seek Christ and you will inherit His Kingdom.

By the way, we may think, “I am safe because I don’t steal.” There might be other ways that you may not have considered yet. I remember a believer that I knew in New York took pride in living on government aid when he didn’t need to do so. He was a man who didn’t want to work and couldn’t see how others like us pay for his lifestyle. That is thievery too because such a man would not do honest work and therefore has nothing to share with others in need as in Ephesians 4:28 says. Another way we steal is when we do not give what belongs to God. In the ERV translation of Malachi 3:8, God says, “People should not steal things from God, but you stole things from me. “You say, ‘What did we steal from you?’ “You should have given me one-tenth of your things. You should have given me special gifts.” ”

Ephesians 4:29-32 offers practical steps to control our temptation to give in to our tongue and temper.

Verses 29-30 says, “29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” People use verse 30 for all sorts of things but the context is that we grieve the Holy Spirit of God when we do not conduct our life in a manner worthy of our calling according to the model of Christ, the mission of Christ, and the teachings of Christ.

To deal with the temptation of temper, verses 31-32 says, “31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

As I close, I want you to imagine what our lives would be like if we let our tongues say whatever we think or feel about others. James 3:6 reads, “…the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.” If we control our tongue, we will control our temper and the temptation to say whatever we think regardless of how it makes others feel. So, we must control our tongue for it hurts people and hurts the body of Christ and hurts God, so we grieve the Holy Spirit because we are hurting each other.

Appeal

Use your speech to proclaim truth and peace, and to build up the church of Christ. Jesus in Matthew 5:37 said, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” Let us conduct our lives in a manner worthy of our calling according to the model of Christ, the mission of Christ, and the teachings of Christ. Let us live our faith daily authentically and effectively with integrity and honesty.

Action Steps

1. Invite a mature believer to mentor you. A special advisor who can observe your life to help you to control your tongue, temper, and temptations.

2. Invite someone to church for Easter.

 Study Questions

1. What is the main message of Ephesians 4:25-32? How does it relate to Ephesians 4:17-24?

2. In Ephesians 4:25, what does it mean to “put away falsehood” and “let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor?”  How does this relate to being “members one of another?” 

3. What principles does Ephesians 4:25-32 offer for Christian living? 

4. What does Ephesians 4:25-32 teach about forgiveness, kindness, and compassion? 

 Deeper Study Questions

1. What are some practical ways that we can apply the principles of Ephesians 4:25-32 in our daily lives? 

2. Do you struggle with anger? In the context of “be angry, and do not sin,” what do you do to ensure that your anger does not lead to sin? 

3. How do you ensure that “…no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up…that it may give grace to those who hear?”

4. What do you personally do to foster forgiveness, kindness, and compassion in your relationships with others? 

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Hear the full message

Read more in the Ephesians series